{"id":10,"date":"2005-07-29T20:13:00","date_gmt":"2005-07-29T20:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/whoisandrewwee.com\/?p=10"},"modified":"2006-07-11T18:03:17","modified_gmt":"2006-07-11T10:03:17","slug":"a-tail-of-toilet-paper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/whoisandrewwee.com\/uncategorized\/a-tail-of-toilet-paper\/","title":{"rendered":"A Tail of Toilet Paper…"},"content":{"rendered":"
And now for something a little lighter.<\/p>\n
About a year ago, I went to Mustafa Shopping Centre<\/a> (the brick and mortar store, not the website) and wanted to check out some toiletries.<\/p>\n Shopping for toiletries, especially for toilet paper is an art.<\/p>\n It’s also a science. how is comfort defined? — One brand of tissue paper I like is Paseo<\/a>.<\/p>\n What I like about it is it’s smooth quality and is kinda ‘up market’ looking. The other thing is if you’re having a cold and blowing your nose all the time, this paper won’t not to shred your nose like i’ve experienced with some other brands.<\/p>\n — I was keeping an eye out for Paseo toilet paper, but it looked like they had been ‘clean out’ so to speak.<\/p>\n I checked out the products on offer.<\/p>\n Most of them looked fairly ‘industrial’ and somewhat reminiscent of sand paper.<\/p>\n I was taken aback when a package of rolls dropped onto the floor with a loud THUD!<\/p>\n Toilet paper hitting the floor with a thud? I crossed that brand off my list and checked out something interesting.<\/p>\n Hmm, a roll of Scott paper. I looked at the price, looked fairly reasonable.<\/p>\n I was feeling a little distrubed however and started to put it back.<\/p>\n “Hey, what are you doing?” the wife asks.<\/p>\n “I don’t think this is for us. It’s just not right.”<\/p>\n “Not right? Why”<\/p>\n “Well, see?” I said, pointing at the picture of the cute doggy.<\/p>\n “What about it?”<\/p>\n “I wouldn’t ever dream of using this paper”<\/p>\n “What????” The wife says<\/p>\n Sighing, I looked at her.<\/p>\n “Think about it for a moment. The thought sickens… I’d rather rub my butt with newspapers”<\/p>\n “Sick is the only word i can come up with. Actually, there’re 3 words. Sick, sick, sick.”<\/p>\n “I mean LOOK at it!!! Would you use a toilet paper used to WIPE A DOG’S BUTT on your own???? I mean it’s fine for the dog and everything, but I DON’T want to use some weirdo DOGGY TOILET PAPER on my ass!”<\/p>\n “You are silly” the wife goes.<\/p>\n “WHAT! Look at it? It’s got a happy dog who just got his butt wiped and I’m not sure about this, but humans and dogs are different. I wouldn’t eat dog biscuits for one!”<\/p>\n “You…you…fool! The dog is the Scott mascot or something. Can’t you see it says “toilet paper” packaging”<\/p>\n “Ah, but it doesn’t say “human toilet paper” does it?”<\/p>\n
\nwhat you want to do is go for a toilet paper with a high a comfort level as possible.<\/p>\n
\nThe formula goes like this: comfort = [frictional coefficient] \/ [price].
\nyou want to buy a toilet paper which is cheap (price being as low as possible)
\nwhile having a very very very low frictional coefficient, else besides removing waste matter from your behind, you’ll also be removing a your anus and rectum.<\/p>\n
\nTissue Paper<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n<\/a><\/p>\n
\nIt’s thick and the design looks floral and kinda springtime-y.
\n
\n<\/a><\/p>\n
\nBack to the toilet paper…<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/a><\/p>\n