procrastination hits even the best-intentioned of us, and i’m seeing how blogging takes commitment.
no longer will i look at other blogs with their last entries dating back 6 months and go ‘what the hell, they couldn’t spend 5 minutes each day updating a blog?’
2 days, faithful reader, since i’ve not blogged, and i’m going to do my darndest to put a new post up every day (unless i’m sucked away to an electronics or ‘adult’ convention, in which case it might be a little longer…
When I was a teen (18 to be exact), i always thought i’d achieve the following:
1) get married by 25
2) have three kids
3) even picked out some kids’ names -
3a) bianca (french equivalent for blanche – which also happens to be one of the characters on ‘golden girls‘ which is an earlier 1985 series by the creator of desperate housewives’ Marc Cheery. blanche as a verb has similar name etymology meanings. it means pale (fair-skinned) and beautiful.
3b) nausicaa: came up with this name when i was majorly into japanese manga/anime. for those familiar with Hayao Miyazaki’s works, it’s the name of the lead protagonist of Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. On IMDB (Internet Movie Database), it’s shown up as the names of French actresses’ too. You can see the search results here.
My mum wasn’t too hot on this name however, cos she thought it sounded too similar to ‘nausea’.
3c) Grey: was thinking of this as a cool name for a son. Again, going back to my manga reading days, Grey is the name of the protagonist for a self-titled title. In fact there’s a DVD out and it’s listed at old faithful, IMDB.
Besides naming a kid after a comic-book character (not necessarily the best way to choose a name). I believe it embodies the qualities of the character: resilience, intelligence, integrity and perseverance.
Grey as a colour is interesting too, because of its dual nature (neither black nor white, embodying characteristics of both) and it is engimatic.
Of course, all these ideas are moot, cos i didn’t get married at 25. Got married at 30, and i don’t have any kids’ yet.
Will likely consult the wife when it’s time to think of names, though i’ve developed an aversion to ‘common’ names like tom, jerry, mike, john, sarah, sally, jane, michelle, jessica…ok you get the idea.
i guess i’ll work on that hurdle when it comes.
live long and prosper.
My classmate, Leslie Kwok (the national swimmer) once said: “For every girl or guy, there is a perfect mate for you out there. But whether you find them in this lifetime…that’s your problem!”
Perfectly flip answer from a fifteen year old (this was some years ago), though the quote has stayed with me through the years, meriting a mention during my wedding about 3 years ago.
A friend dropped me an email about his ‘interactions’ with the opposite gender:
I have approached a handful of girls since the seminar and have been pretty successful in chatting them up, carrying out the conversation and getting their contacts so far. However one thing i realize is that i kind of lost the momentum after a few days. I feel that i have no
purpose to approach them as I am not looking to get laid. I question myself what is the point of approaching so many girls and then not establishing any meaningful relationship with them? Yes it would widen the cirlce of people I know but that what is the purpose of having so
many acquaintances but none i really know well and knows me well in return?
I still could not find any answer. Do you have any insights on this?
My reply was:
it sounds like you may wish to consider what your purpose in talking to the ‘girls’ is.
maybe after answering the question, ‘what will approaching girls do for me?’ will you gain more motivation to do what you do.
maybe you dont want to get laid, maybe you want to make new friends? expand your business contacts? find that girl who was like your dream girl that you know in primary/secondary/jc/uni that you wanted to approach, but didn’t and subsequently lost touch?
maybe you did answer your own questions also. you said you didnt know them well. do you want to get to know them better? if so, what are the things to try out? maybe different questions, or a different approach would work.
actually all these steps are not that useful yet, until you answer the question ‘what will approaching girls do for you’.
if you do set the goal of getting to know a girl really well and are able to answer the following questions:
1) What is her favourite colour? Why?
2) What is her favourite food? What is it about that food that she
3) What is her favourite book or tv programme or film? What does she enjoy about it? What would she do different if she was the director?
(sample questions only…you can come up with different ones).
it might help you go beyond the surface to have a feel or an idea of what the true person beneath the skin is really like.
from my past experience, knowing a person (whether male or female) in terms of their ambitions, dreams, fears help me better understand the person better and is a much more interesting or attractive or seductive (take your pick) experience than just being able to chat them up whether for friendship, romance or business.
in all honesty, i’m not sure about the degree of ‘insight’ in my reply.
meeting people (male or female) has always been exciting during the first few encounters, especially when you’re getting to find out more about the person.
more importantly i feel is that the feeling has to be reciprocated as well.
else the object of your attention might as well be a blow-up doll.
i believe the feeling of ‘clicking’ comes when both persons feel the same way, and hence there is ‘feedback’ from whatever we do or say (see Newton’s third law of motion: action=reaction).
else without any perceivable feedback from the person, it’ll be a fairly empty exercise.
there’s a quote from the movie City Slickers that was pretty useful/relevant for me.
“Do you know what the secret to life is?” asks Jack Palance in the 1991 movie City Slickers.
“No, what?” says Billy Crystal.
“One thing, just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don’t mean shit.”
“That’s great, but what’s the one thing?”
“That’s what you’ve got to figure out.”
Which just about sums up what the quest to finding the ‘perfect one’ is like.
Sorting through a lot of fodder, erm, make that ‘non-perfect’ ones and finding that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. for tomorrow, the next week and the next 50 years. if you can’t imagine the person 50 years from now, it’s better to cut your losses and get the hell out.
you’ve been warned.
a long time ago, i told myself that i’d start a blog.
a couple of months passed. i’d decided to finally get cracking on my blog.
some time passed, i figured i’d start my blog when i had something to say.
about a year later, i finally start this, even though i’m not sure what i want to say.
last week i went for a conference and the speaker, Brad Sugars (www.bradsugars.com), mentioned that a number of people procrastinate about taking action. They decide to wait till tomorrow, next week or next month.
He also mentioned that each of us will live about 4,000 weeks.
How long does each of us have?
Use this simple formula.
4000 – [your age in years * 50] = your estimated life expectancy
i did the calculation and figured i have 2400 weeks.
Not very long huh…
I’d better do something useful today.