You see them scattered all over the blogosphere.

Remnants of disjointed collections of words.

Beautifully-designed themes sheltering the rotting content carcasses within.

Is it any wonder why you see tons of failed blogs littering the electronic landscape?

Here’s my definition of a failed blog,your blog is at least a year old and:

• You have readership in the 10s (when your visitors hit 100 for the day, you wonder if a miracle has just occured)
• You have tons of comments, unfortunately, they seem to be more excited about promoting ‘men’s pharmaceuticals’ and ‘money making opportunities’ than to talk about your content.
• Your Google Adsense income is counted in the hundred. Hundred of cents, that is.

If you haven’t failed yet, here’re some steps towards that lofty goal.

• Unpreditable as rain in the Sahara: Blog about anything, then switch it from day to day. Talk about Israel, then Snakes on a Plane the next day, how you saw a ghost sighting on youtube, then about your mum’s chocolate chip cookies. I’ll guarantee you’d scare away prospective visitors. That is, unless you’re horribly amusing, or freaking sarcastic. Unfortunately most stop at the horrible and freak stage.
• Be irregular: Blog multiple times a day for a period of time. Disappear for a variable period of time (anywhere from a week, to a couple of months). Then appear again and blog 4-5 times a day. People like their bowel movements regular. They like their blog content constant too. Don’t give them a monster of a content turd after you’ve been constipated for donkey’s years.
• Write about esoteric stuff that no one cares about: Here’s a thought. Talk about something really unique. The weirder and stranger the better, ideally no one on your continent has heard about. Don’t explain what it is. Don’t give an introduction (continue to assume your audience is hyper intelligent and is as familiar with your subject as they are with Yak milk DNA extraction). Continue to talk about your topic area in painstaking detail. Go into the minutae. Clobber us with obscure trivia, come up with lots of arcane and anachronistic jargon that will blow our socks off.

Yes, it’s hard to fail at blogging, but it’s surprising the number of talented individuals out there.

You’d think there’s a factory out there churning them out by blog brigade, by blog brigade.

It’s quite frightening, really.