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Reflective thoughts on Marriage

Marriage picMarriage is an interesting concept.
8 letters full of complexity and entailing a lifetime commitment.
Does length equate to length of commitment?
Car is three letters and goes into about 5 years or so.
House is five letters and goes into 25 years.

Marriage could top them all, though Mistress is also eight characters and …

People marry for lots of reasons, and almost every instance ends up in a marriage.
Some marry for money, some marry for fame, some marry because it’s time, while others marry due to parental pressure.
The best reason to marry for me, is to marry for love.

While I was going through marriage counselling, our marriage counsellor told us, it’s not love that sustains the marriage, but the marriage that sustains the love.
I can be quite dense sometimes, especially when it comes to love, relationships and marriage.
I know the concept of marriage intellectually, but I feel that marriage having emotional components, it’s something that my mind cannot fully fathom.

Men and marriage sometimes are like chalk and cheese.
Not because we don’t respect the institution of marriage, but because it may be less ‘task-oriented’ than work.
At work, we know we clock in the 9-to-5 workday (more often it’s a 9-to-9 workday), but with marriage, there are no official marriage rules, there is no martial handbook.

Sure there might be the bible, popular bestsellers like The Rules, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
But what do they really know about the intricacies of marriage?

And for what matter what do I REALLY know about marriage (compared to what I THINK I know about marriage).

Buddhist monk Adjahn Brahmavisimo said “To know and not do is not to know.”

Marriage for me is a long learning journey, being sensitive and knowing that the marriage was the first step in the process.
Marriage is a process where we begin as marital newbies, get used to how each other is REALLY like, as opposed to our pre-martial perception of each other.

When you wake up one day and realize the other person either doesn’t leave the toilet seat down, or leaves the toothpaste uncapped, you will then see their ‘intra-marriage’ persona. Some may run screaming, thinking their soulmate has metamorphosised into some sort of alien creature shortly after the marriage ceremony. Still others may wonder about the mysteries of marriage, whether it’s meant to be, whether they’re destined not to access membership to the married people’s club.

For me, there’s no question about it.
Marriage is a journey of exploration and discovery, it ‘marries’ the best of two people into a combination that’s greater than the sum of the parts.

5 comments on Reflective thoughts on Marriage

  1. Kloudiia
    August 8, 2006 at 1:36 am (4704 days ago)

    Good thoughts! Exactly what I vision for a community to be – continuous learning on the skills and knowledge or maintaining a happy and loving marriage and relationship.

    Marriage makes one richer, spiritually, emotionally, financially.

  2. andreww
    August 8, 2006 at 11:14 am (4704 days ago)

    hey Kloudiia,
    when’s yr turn!
    :)

  3. Jhong Ren
    May 4, 2008 at 2:38 pm (4068 days ago)

    Hi Andrew, I was spending the whole sunday afternoon looking through your past threads and I saw this one….how time flies…now they are married! :) and your blog has become so popular! congrats!

  4. Nelson Briceño
    October 30, 2008 at 12:23 pm (3889 days ago)

    What a wonderful reading!! I was looking for some thoughts to bring for my English students and I think this is excellent because it’s a controvertial topic and it is going to interested to start a discussion on this!!

  5. chander
    December 5, 2009 at 6:35 pm (3488 days ago)

    very nice thouthts am impresed…………..

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